Friday, July 25, 2003


Brother, Can You Spare $30,000,000.00?

That is a LOT of money to pay someone for doing the right thing. I'm wondering if we might have gotten the same result for $1,000,000?

Tuesday, July 22, 2003


My Two Favorite Things: Mysteries & Shopping

After reading an interesting article in the WSJ about a former stock broker who now supports herself by working full time as a Mystery Shopper, I decided to do some research. (In case you aren't aware, a Mystery Shopper is someone hired by a company to pose as a customer in order to evaluate service levels, the shopping experience, etc.) I found one of the companies listed in the article, and signed up.

A couple of weeks later I had my first assignment: I was to infiltrate a local department store, purchase an item, and then return it. I completed my mission, and now I have a check for $10 on the way. But I think I'll wait for the check to clear before I quit my job...

Anyhoo, check out this site and sign up if you think it sounds like fun. I would recommend it to anyone who a) has a lot of free time, b) likes to shop, c) enjoys seeing bad employees get their comeuppance, d) all of the above.

Thursday, July 17, 2003

Last night I went to make a call and received a message stating my long distance service had been suspended. I called Sprint and after waiting on hold for 15 minutes was told that there appeared to be a problem with the rate at which my international calls were billing, so my 5 calls have apparently totaled more than $5000, and that exceeds the pre-authorization limit on the credit card that I'm automatically billed to.

I explained that I had switched to the Int'l plan before making my first call, and the rep agreed that this was true. She said she would restore my long distance service, but I would have to call customer service (?) to correct the billing error. And that I would probably be charged the incorrect amount at the end of my billing cycle regardless. When I pointed out that this seemed like rather harsh punishment for a mistake I didn't make, she assured me that it wasn't her problem & that I would have to call customer service.

This sort of thing (incompetence + indifference) drives me crazy. It makes the power monger in me want to form a cartel, snatch up all the proxy rights to outstanding shares of Sprint's stock, conduct a hostile takeover, fire the board of directors, and spin off all of the subdivisions. And since I'm not watching BB4 now, I may just have the time. En garde, Sprint!

Wednesday, July 16, 2003


The Saddest Post Ever

I've just realized that I won't be able to watch this season of Big Brother. There are many reasons: I've had to tape the first 3 episodes due to travel commitments & still haven't watched them, and I need to revise two project plans for work, and I have three unread Wall Street Journals already this week, and three unwatched Netflix dvds, and a huge project management exam to study for at the end of the summer.

So I won't have time to watch three hours of BB4 every week for the next several months. Even though I've been looking forward to it for weeks. Even though I've watched every episode from the beginning of the first season. Even though I'm letting down my friend Sara.

I spent some really good summers with pink-haired Brittany, psycho Justin, chicken George the dumbass, emotionally-needy Bunky, evil doctor Will, ridiculous Mike Boogie, "It's ON!" Monica, conniving Danielle, Chi-whora, and all the rest. But it's time to move on. I'm such a grown up. How sad. But at least now I finally know what this song means.

Wednesday, July 09, 2003


What Was My Boss Trying To Tell Me When He Sent Me This...

An interesting link sure to amuse fans of ping pong, The Matrix, or clicking links.


Bat Boy, The Musical

My friend JillyG and I went to see Bat Boy last night at the Unicorn Theatre. I know you're wondering what would possess me to leave my apartment on the night when Big Brother 4 is premiering, but I received tickets thanks to a donation I made to the United Way, and you know it's philanthropy first with me, reality tv second.

The show was so-so, but I did enjoy enjoy one of the songs in particular. After Bat Boy gets civilized, he sings a rather amusing number about his new-found education:
BAT BOY: I was dirty and rowdy (rowdy)
BAT BOY: Even dressed a bit dowdy (dowdy)
BAT BOY: But now say...
OTHERS: Howdy!
ALL: To a summa cum laude!

Now that's my idea of fine theatre: rhyming 'howdy' and 'summa cum laude'!

Tuesday, July 08, 2003


Who Can Take A Sunrise, Sprinkle It With Dew...

I keep candy at my table at work to be friendly. I usually buy premium stuff like miniature Snickers, Twix, Milky Way, etc. Of course, it disappears very rapidly. But I don't spend more than $10/month no matter how quickly it goes.

This week I brought York peppermint patties and little boxes of Milk Duds. I thought that would be a good combination, and people seem pretty pleased so far. I also had a nice conversation with one of my co-workers about candy you never see any more. We talked about Necco Wafers (least tasty candy of all time, in my opinion) and Zagnuts (which she hates but I've never had).

This chat inspired me to do some research:
Check out this list. It should bring back a few memories.

Monday, July 07, 2003


It's (almost) ON!

When it comes to Big Brother, there are really only two kinds of people: those that love the show, and, in the other camp, everyone I've ever met in my life. But now that I know my friend Sara will be watching, I finally have someone to discuss who should done what in which challenge with endlessly.

Sara was even kind enough to write me today and remind me that the show starts in less than 24 hours, so we exchanged several emails filled with exclamation points.

According to the CBS website:

Starting Tuesday, July 8, at 8pm ET/PT, a group of people will live together in a house outfitted with dozens of cameras and microphones recording their every move 24 hours a day. This summer, there’s a surprise twist! The HouseGuests will be stunned to see some of their exes move in as competing HouseGuests. This means that some of the HouseGuests will be living with someone they thought was out of their lives. Will alliances form between the former couples, or will old wounds be reopened?

At the end of three months, the last remaining HouseGuest will receive the Grand Prize of $500,000. Watch the drama unfold every Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, only on CBS!


The Crossbar Hotel, The Klink, Penn State, The Thug Jug, The Big House, etc.

Here's a parody of Zagat's dining ratings for recently incarcerated CEO's that is pretty amusing.

It's excerpted from Andy Borowitz's new book, Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison.

Saturday, July 05, 2003


Sure, We All Like Ninjas...

But this guy really likes ninjas.


Y'all Come Back Now!

Welcome to the recent visitors who found my web journal by typing the following into Google:

"how hillbillies say wes was por" (JMAC's Journal is the number one site for the answer to this question!)

"walmart shoplifting how-to" (I'm number two. Damn you, West Windsor & Plainsboro Township!)

Although you may not have found the information you were looking for, I still hope you found some things that made you laugh, made you cry, made you think, and made you purchase something for me from my Amazon wishlist.

Friday, July 04, 2003


Dude, Where's My Talent

I don't get America's fascination with Ashton Kutcher.

He was the dumb guy in "That 70's Show"

He was another dumb guy in that horrible "Dude, Where's My Car" movie. (The only noteworthy thing about that movie was that I watched it with someone who worked in a think tank.)

He was voted one of the "50 Most Beautiful People in the World" by People magazine.

He's dating Demi Moore.

So? He excels at playing dumb people, and some people at People think he's beautiful. Good luck filling the remaining 15 minutes...

When I try to add Sprint phone services online (which I should be able to do), I'm told, "Based on the information you submitted, we have determined that you are already a Sprint customer." Yes, that would be why I'm logged in with my customer number and my password, and why I'm trying to add additional services. I'm then directed to call the customer service line.

Of course, when I call the customer service line, I hear a message that says, "If you would like to make a call, please hang up. If this is an emergency, please call your operator." Once I finally get through, I'm presented with no fewer than 18 options before being allowed to speak to a representative. I'm assured that my call is important to Sprint, and that it may be monitored for quality assurance purposes. And then I'm informed that Sprint is closed for the day. Click.

You know, I'm pretty sure that I could hire a bunch of chimps and build a phone company to rival Sprint and MCI in a matter of weeks. Our service levels would be the same, and the company picnic would be the cutest thing you ever saw.

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